I know that lately a lot has been changing. I try to keep myself open to change, mostly with God. I want to be a beacon of light in this dark world.
How can I convince others how great following Christ is, if I look and act just as miserable as everyone else? It is all about letting myself be changed. Letting God change my heart. I want my desires to be His desires. If I see a homeless person, I want to feed them. If I see someone struggling with something heavy, I want to help them carry the load. If I see someone crying, I want to comfort them.
I really do want these things and I know God does, but doing is the biggest part. It’s not that I don’t want to help, but my brain chimes in with stupid reasons why I shouldn’t, and I end up hesitating. Then it is too late and the opportunity has passed.
Last night I stopped at Wawa (a local gas station/convenience store) to get Reese Cups for my wife and something for me to snack on. When I was paying at the counter, a little old lady came in and had a jug of milk in her hand. She looked a little confused. I had that feeling, like a still small voice. I know it was God telling me to buy her milk for her. Immediately my brain was like, “she has her own money, don’t try to look like a big shot.” Yes, I know. It sounds stupid right? It was a stupid thought. I could have been a blessing to someone else and that one stupid brain moment cause me to hesitate and walk away. The milk was $1.90 and I had received $2.00 change from my purchase. I felt like such and idiot.
Matthew 5:16 ESV
In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
I am not going to let this missed opportunity get me down though. I will use it as a learning experience and a chance for growth. Next time I will buy the milk, maybe even all the groceries! Not because I was to be a big shot, or because I want praise from others. It is because I have been given so much, and by giving back, people will see Jesus in me and give Him the glory that He deserves.
Ephesians 2:10 ESV
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.